The Pain Of Losing To The Bobcats

 

The Charlotte Bobcats have spent the last two seasons setting a new standard for futility. And yet…they keep beating the Raptors. Charlotte has a measly 23 wins over the past two seasons combined (by way of comparison, Miami has 24 wins in the last 11 weeks). And yet, of Charlotte’s 23 wins, four of them have come against the Raptors.

How does it feel when the worst team in the league has your number? Let’s take a moment to really understand, to really own the pain of losing so frequently to the Bobcats.

• It’s like losing a dance competition to a pile of wet newspapers.
• It’s like trying to outrun a tree, but running face-first into it by accident.
• It’s like your girlfriend dumping you for another girl, not because she’s gay, but because “it’s worth a shot.”
• It’s like losing the Science Fair to Ralph Wiggum.
• It’s like somehow managing to be below dirt on the food chain.
• It’s like being demoted from “guy-who-cleans-the-toilet-with-a-toothbrush” to “guy-who-cleans-the-toothbrush”.

I know, I know. It’s a late-season game that means nothing. We’re playing to develop our younger players. But here’s the thing: it’s a meaningless game for the Bobcats, too. They’re playing to develop talent just like we are. They’re spreading the minutes around, letting bench guys have their late-season auditions. And they’re doing a better job of it too; in last night’s game, Charlotte’s bench outscored Toronto’s bench 54-13.

I won’t even begin to contemplate what it means when the bench of the worst team in the league outscores you that badly.

You’re welcome, Charlotte.

Pummel Me, I’m Irish

Coach Casey drew up some impressive plays, like the one shown here, but the streaking Miami Heat proved too much. (Photo: kooztop5.blogspot.com)

NBA history was made today, and as they’ve done before, the Raptors played the role of red carpet.

The Heat have now won 22 straight games, tying them with the 07-08 Rockets for second longest winning streak ever. To put that in perspective, the Raptors have won 26 games all season.  This one was actually close, tied 77-77 at one point, but the Heat just had to step on the gas a little bit to pour on a 28-6 run and put the game out of reach.

On the bright side, Mo Pete was at the game. And this guy wins the award for Best Ever Use Of Duct Tape.

But this is one of those days where the bright side looks pretty dim. Back in 2007-08, when the Rockets had their 22-game streak, the Raptors, led by Chris Bosh, finished the season at an even 41-41, while the Heat had their worst season ever, with a 15-67 record. A few years later, and here we are. Bosh and the Heat are in the record books, and the Raptors are…enduring another depressing St. Patrick’s day.

You’re welcome, Miami.

Beating The Buzzer: The Landry Fields Way

Mental note: when Landry Fields takes a shot, the safest place to be is inside the basket.

Rapoganda

RAPOGANDA, n. (rap-ah-gan-dah) Media created with the purpose of fuelling optimism with regard to the future of the Toronto Raptors basketball club. Often involves the framing of mediocre players as all-stars, the assertion that the Raptors will make the playoffs very soon, and the unfounded claim that most NBA players are just dying to play in Toronto. Usually results in inflated expectations, which in turn leads to panic, fan disillusionment, and an infinite cycle of rebuilding. 

Things I like about the video above:

1. It looks like it was filmed in an FBI interrogation room. I almost expect Agent Smith to appear over Leo’s shoulder and say, “I assume you’ll be renewing your season tickets, won’t you, Misssster Rautinsssss….”
2. I had no idea that Terrence Ross “intrigues the hell” out of Jack Armstrong. I’m also not sure what he means, but Ross might want to play it safe and restraining-order-the-hell out of Armstrong.
3. There’s the token mention of Bargnani as a key member of the team at 1:54. Probably added into the script once they realized nobody would trade for him.
4. There’s just the tiniest hint of desperation when they talk about this team being “attractive to free agents”. It’s as if they’re trying to wish it into reality by saying it over and over again. Or maybe they’re just scared because Bryan Colangelo is standing just outside the frame with a shotgun.

Raptors Lose Lead, Dignity To Warriors

Recently, coach Casey’s defensive call-to-arms, “pound the rock” has become less evocative of hard-nosed defense, and more evocative of a Raptor fan bashing his head against a rock out of frustration.

For the second straight game, Toronto gave up 120+ points, leading many people who follow the team to reach for the remote, as the chances of playoffs at the ACC become more and more distant. And to add to the hilarity, the Raptors were up 6 at the end of the third…and then, 42 of Golden State’s 125 points came in the fourth quarter. Pound the rock indeed.

You’re welcome, Golden State.

Raptors Review: After Sixty Games

Watching the Raptors this week felt kind of…like this. (Photo: blutoro.ca)

Record:    23-37 (5-5 over the past 10)

Low point: A 90-84 loss to the Wizards, in what may have been the ugliest, most boring game in the NBA this season.

High point: February 22nd vs. the Knicks: two-point win against a top team, Kyle Lowry bobblehead night, halftime performance by Young MC, and some crazy guy runs on court and gets tackled by security. Oh, and 100 points for free pizza. Who could ask for anything more?

Stuff I’ve Noticed:

• When Aaron Gray shoots, he puts side-spin on the ball. Not making this up. Take a look next time he shoots a free throw.
• Raptor fans move from “we’re making the playoffs” to “the end is near” faster than any fans in the NBA.
• The average height of the Raptors’ point guards is about 4’9″.

Memorable Quote:

“I know the Raptors have been succeeding despite his problems, but it’s hard to see what he really adds to a team besides clanking mid-range jumpers.”

-Mike Prada of the Bullets Forever SB Nation Blog, analyzing Rudy Gay.

Mickael Pietrus Auditions For The Raptors Dance Pak

Life can be lonely when you ride the bench all season. But Mickael Pietrus finally found a way to get some screen time, and to prove that while his game may not be what it used to be, his moves are as fabulous as ever: