Math Proves What We Already Knew

Posted: April 9, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Raptors + Playoffs = No.

It’s official: according to the standings on nba.com, the Raptors will not be playing in the 2012 playoffs. Despite being realistically eliminated on opening day, it was not until today, with a loss to the Oklahoma Thunder that the Raptors were mathematically out of playoff contention. Damn you, mathematics.

But it’s okay! There’s still lots you can do while watching upcoming Raptors games to keep you interested as the season enters the home stretch. Some suggestions:

  • think of possible nicknames for Jonas Valanciunas (ex: “Big V”, “Jo-Val”, “The Lithuanian Leviathan”)
  • make fun anagrams of players’ names (ex: Andrea Bargnani = Bandana Earring, Amir Johnson = Jam on Rhinos)
  • take a drink every time Aaron Gray hits a field goal
  • take a drink every time Aaron Gray misses a field goal (make sure you have someone to drive to the hospital)
  • write a letter of apology to whoever we end up picking in the draft

See? There’s plenty to be excited about. If you have any other ideas, leave them in the comments, or email them to holycraptors@gmail.com

Advertisements
Comments
  1. […] Math Proves What We Already Knew […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s