Solomon Alabi: A Tribute

Posted: April 17, 2012 in Uncategorized
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It was a career night for Number 50. And we’re talking BIG.

Forgetting for a second that the Raptors lost by 23 thanks to yet another 4th-quarter impression of the Titanic, let’s take a look at Alabi’s line: 24 minutes, 8 points on 4 of 9 shooting, 9 rebounds. With a block and a steal for good measure. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a whole new level for Mr. Alabi…he surpassed his previous career high for points by 400%! Bettered his career high in rebounds by 300%!

Sportscasters, it’s time to start brainstorming nicknames. I’ll give you a few suggestions to get you started: “Han-Solomon”, “Nigeria 5-0”, “Fiddy”, “Mount Solomon” would all be acceptable.

And if anyone in the Raptors front office is reading (and I know you all read this blog constantly, hiding in the bathroom stall at work) take note: you must sign this man to a multi-year deal as soon as possible. Get him signed, get him some custom shoes, and get a giant LeBron-style billboard of him put up down by the Gardiner Expressway (the photo above would do nicely). And below the photo, we need a poem. Something like:

HE’S GOT SHAQ’S HEIGHT

AND KOBE’S SWAGGER

SKILLS LIKE JORDAN

AND MOVES LIKE JAGGER

THEY CALLED HIM A SCRUB

AND THAT TITLE’S DELICIOUS

CUZ HE CLEANS UP THE BOARDS

AS IF THEY WERE DISHES

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