Christmas in September!

Posted: September 29, 2012 in Uncategorized

People ask me many questions about what it’s like to be a Raptors season ticket holder.

Actually, they usually just ask me why I bother in the first place, but that question can easily be answered by going to the “why?” section of this blog.

There are many perks enjoyed by the season ticket holder…it’s a life of glamour and excitement that extends way beyond attending the games. And it all begins on that magical day when your season ticket package arrives at your door. (Or, more accurately, when you get a note from the delivery company saying you have 72 hours to haul ass down to the pick-up centre on the corner of Warehouse Lane and Nowhere Street before they send your package back to MLSE.)

So, for all those of you who aren’t fortunate enough to be in the inner circle, here’s what we lucky few get for our season-long support:

The box is huge, which just adds to the excitement…there could be ANYTHING in there!

You open the box of Raptor riches, revealing more booty than Donyell Marshall.

Digging past the coupons for discounts on douche-wear at RealSports Apparel, you find the gold: the spiral-bound book of tickets. This year’s book features a high-angle shot of DeMar DeRozan peeing on the Raptors’ logo at centre court.

Inside the front cover, there’s a note from DeMar himself. It tells a heartfelt story of coming up hard on the streets of Compton, and how lucky he feels to be in the NBA, playing alongside legends like Ed Davis and Aaron Gray.

This is my favourite part of the ticket book: tickets to see the Raptors in the NBA Finals, just in case they make it. Printing these tickets is the ultimate in insane optimism. It’s like cleaning your room and lighting scented candles just in case Megan Fox comes over and wants to make out.

And just when you thought it didn’t get more exciting than tickets to The-Finals-That-Will-Never- Happen, you see this fuzzy piece of awesomeness at the bottom of the box.

This last item was the part that made my day.  I just love that the kind folks at MLSE thought to send me a fleece blanket, adorned with a Raptors logo, and secured with its own Raptors seat belt. Think of the potential uses:

  • draping it across your shoulders at the game, allowing for simultaneous team pride and personal warmth
  • curling up underneath it with Megan Fox while watching the game on TV
  • using it for warmth when the Raptors offence goes cold
  • covering your face with it when Amir Johnson decides to take consecutive three-pointers

Ladies and gentlemen, the preseason is only a few sleeps (under a fleece blanket) away. Let’s do this.

Go Raps!
  1. Hello,

    I’m sorry to hear about the difficulty you’ve had picking up packages at our terminal. Should you like to have a package transferred to a closer location in the future, please contact us by e-mail or on Twitter for the closest location. Please don’t hesitate to contact us if you have any other questions.

    Best regards,

    Jérémie / Social Media Coordinator / Customer Care Team / Purolator Inc. / E-mail: / Follow us on Twitter:

    • holycraptors says:


      I’m sorry to hear about the difficulty you’ve had discerning between hyperbole and actual problems. However, I do appreciate that Purolator is trying to use social media as a way to help customers. For the record, Purolator staff are dependable, friendly, and sharply dressed. Thanks for getting in touch…it was awesomely surprising and surprisingly awesome to hear from you.

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