Bucket List: 1.Make Crappy Shirt 2.Get Arrested

Posted: February 23, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,
Crazed fan Devin Hicks is tackled by security. Meanwhile, Aaron Gray (background) wonders how this guy is getting more time on the court than he is. (Photo: deadspin.com)

Crazed fan Devin Hicks is tackled by security. Meanwhile, Aaron Gray (background) wonders how this guy is getting more time on the court than he is. (Photo: deadspin.com)

In recent Raptor games, incidents away from play have been just as interesting as the games themselves. A few days ago there was Matt Devlin’s bizarre encounter with rapper Wale.

And then last night, an unexpected, overweight, 15-minutes-of-famer appeared briefly on the hardwood at the ACC. But enough about Young MC’s halftime performance.

It was during the fourth quarter of a hard-fought, scrappy game that Devin Hicks burst onto the court during a time-out. But this wasn’t just some spur of the moment, alcohol-fuelled impulse. This was a pilgrimmage. This was a carefully-planned fulfillment of a bucket-list dream. Hicks spent several hours pre-Tweeting about how he was getting all excited about his upcoming exploits. His homemade t-shirt had “Let’s Go Raps” scrawled on the front, and “Bucket List” on the back.

Hicks apparently spent the night in jail, no doubt paid a hefty fine, and according to his Twitter feed, has been banned from the ACC for a year. His first tweet after leaving jail was hashtagged “#illbeback”, which leaves me wondering what Mr. Hicks has planned for an encore when he’s allowed back to the ACC in a year’s time.

Well, Mr. Hicks, if you’re out there, here are some tips for your next unscheduled appearance:

  • Outsource the t-shirt making.  Seriously. If you had been looking forward to your court invasion for weeks, you need to come with something better than sharpie on a white undershirt.
  • Learn some dance moves. Once you reached mid-court, I was excited to see what you had in store for us. Cartwheels? Harlem shake? Moonwalk? Maybe a bit of nudity? But no; you just ran around a bit, looking excited to be there, but a bit confused as to what to do. We get that every night with Aaron Gray. Give us something original!
  • Make a sign. If you’ve got 18,000 eyes looking your way, give them a message. Nobody past the front row could read your shirt. How about a sign? Maybe with some kind of inflammatory Colangelo-related catchphrase on it.
  • Play to the crowd. Give them some physical comedy. Maybe the ol’ slip on a banana peel. Or a one-knee proposal to a security guard. Or mime Terrence Ross’ winning dunk. Every great prank has a punchline, and you need to find yours.

Devin Hicks’ Twitter profile proclaims, “Live Fast, Die A Legend”. We can only speculate about this legend’s next act. (Photo: siextramustard.com)


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