The Pain Of Losing To The Bobcats

Posted: March 21, 2013 in Uncategorized


The Charlotte Bobcats have spent the last two seasons setting a new standard for futility. And yet…they keep beating the Raptors. Charlotte has a measly 23 wins over the past two seasons combined (by way of comparison, Miami has 24 wins in the last 11 weeks). And yet, of Charlotte’s 23 wins, four of them have come against the Raptors.

How does it feel when the worst team in the league has your number? Let’s take a moment to really understand, to really own the pain of losing so frequently to the Bobcats.

  • It’s like losing a dance competition to a pile of wet newspapers.
  • It’s like trying to outrun a tree, but running face-first into it by accident.
  • It’s like your girlfriend dumping you for another girl, not because she’s gay, but because “it’s worth a shot.”
  • It’s like losing the Science Fair to Ralph Wiggum.
  • It’s like somehow managing to be below dirt on the food chain.
  • It’s like being demoted from “guy-who-cleans-the-toilet-with-a-toothbrush” to “guy-who-cleans-the-toothbrush”.

I know, I know. It’s a late-season game that means nothing. We’re playing to develop our younger players. But here’s the thing: it’s a meaningless game for the Bobcats, too. They’re playing to develop talent just like we are. They’re spreading the minutes around, letting bench guys have their late-season auditions. And they’re doing a better job of it too; in last night’s game, Charlotte’s bench outscored Toronto’s bench 54-13.

I won’t even begin to contemplate what it means when the bench of the worst team in the league outscores you that badly.

You’re welcome, Charlotte.


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