Posts Tagged ‘Trade Deadline’

If Colangelo is serious about saving his job, he’ll do two things: pull off a big deadline trade, and buy a suit like this one. (Photo:

At last year’s trade deadline, there wasn’t much happening in Raptorville. Sure, they traded Barbosa, but I’m pretty sure nobody noticed. Barbosa included.

This year’s a different story. The Raptors’ season has been a bit like watching “Titanic” in reverse; a god-awful beginning full of death and hopelessness, followed by some hot action and serious excitement.

And now, on the heels of the Rudy Gay trade, a modest but legit win streak, and the crowning of Terrence Ross as the new NBA Dunk Champion, word is that a big trade before this week’s deadline might set this team up for some real success next year. And in case Mr. Colangelo gets cold feet and can’t figure out what moves to make, here is my list of suggestions:

Trade Suggestion #1: Andrea Bargnani for the Pillsbury Doughboy

Strong work ethic, lots of experience, and a snappy dresser. What more could we want? (

Both these guys are in need of a change of scenery. Bargnani has long since worn out his welcome in Toronto, while the Doughboy has been at it since 1965, and could use a new gig. Beyond that, they have lots of similarities:

  • Pasty white? Check.
  • Arms that lack muscle definition? Check
  • Experience as celebrity food endorsement guy? Check.
  • Notoriously soft? Check mate.


Trade Suggestion #2: Aaron Gray for Rob Ford

Mayor Ford would be willing to sacrifice his body for the team. (Photo:

If you’re going to have a big lumbering oaf on your team, it might as well be somebody who’ll give you a few good soundbites in post-game interviews. Ford would be a force to reckon with up front. He’s determined, he’s got confidence, and as you can see above, he’s far more graceful than Aaron Gray.

And I think Gray would work out pretty well as mayor, too. He’s likeable, he’s got a great smile, and he just wants a chance to be a meaningful part of a team.


Trade Suggestion #3: Linas Kleiza for An Old Boot (or best offer).

Adding an old boot to the roster would really free up some bench space for the Raptors. (Photo:

Anyone? Please?
You can even keep the laces.

So Deadline Day has come and gone, and although the Raptors may not have taken any of my trade suggestions, they do find themselves minus a couple of bench players. Anthony Carter and Leandro Barbosa are gone, and in return, we got…nobody. Hm.

Well, a second-round pick…and a trade exemption…Those are good things, right? And besides, now that Barbosa and Carter won’t be hogging bench minutes anymore, we get to see more of Butler and Forbes! Yay!

While I can’t say I’ll miss Anthony Carter (although it was fun to watch the old guy huff and puff his way down the court, only to get confused and pass the ball to the press table), I will miss Barbosa. He was an exciting player to watch; exciting in the way it’s exciting to ride an old wooden rollercoaster that is really fast, but a bit old, and might go off the rails and kill you at any moment.

Just for the heck of it, here’s my favourite Barbosa highlight, from his days in Phoenix:

All in all, it’s not really a bad deal for Toronto (go here for some more in-depth analysis), but just for once I’d like to see a trade where the Raptors trade a player and get an actual person in return.

So long, Leandro. We’ll miss you. If you make it to the playoffs, send us a postcard, ‘kay?

Deadline Day is traditionally when clubs make exciting last-minute deals. Or when talented players demand out of Toronto.

As the NBA trade deadline approaches, teams are once again in wheeling-and-dealing mode: which players will move in search of a championship? Which owners will show enough knowledge of basketball chemistry to find the perfect fit? Which teams will find the missing piece that will propel them in the right direction as the playoffs loom on the horizon?

Since words like “playoffs”, “championship”, and sometimes even “basketball” aren’t things that generally come to mind when one ponders the Toronto Raptors, Deadline Day doesn’t quite carry the same excitement that it would in a city where the local team is trying to build a contender.

But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have some fun speculating about what might happen this March 15th. So here, for my own amusement and yours, is a list of some trades that I think might work out in the Raptors’ favour.

Trade Suggestion #1: Andrea Bargnani for David Letterman

This one works out for everybody. Think about it: Letterman spends his evenings sitting on the side, wearing a suit, watching Paul Schaeffer play. Bargnani spends his evenings sitting on the side, wearing a suit, watching the Raptors play. They’ve got all the experience they need to do each other’s jobs! Plus, Dave could lighten things up when coach Casey gets all heavy with his whole “defense” thing.

Late Night host David Letterman would be a great fit; as you can see here, he's already got more experience touching trophies than most Raptors.


Trade Suggestion #2: Aaron Gray for Chuck Swirsky

Aaron Gray is a reminder of everything that’s wrong with the current Raptors. I love the guy. He tries hard. But he’s oafish, awkward, and has trouble making shots from further out than 6 inches.

Chuck Swirsky, on the other hand, is a reminder of better days. I think having The Swirsk at centre would really liven things up; he’s got a great low-post game, a shiny head, and an affinity for salami and cheese. This trade would be sick, wicked, and nasty.


Trade Suggestion #3: Leandro Barbosa for a Loonie.

Why? Simple. A loonie is tough, well-rounded, and…wait for it…it’s good for four quarters!

Barbosa for a dollar: a trade that just makes cents. (Sorry.)